Osama the Sinner Died an Early Death

Update: silly fake photos circulating in the media, pretending they are real. [1] [2]

It’s the funniest, stupidest propaganda in years. The US is now claiming they OOOPS! “lost” the body of Osama Bin Laden somewhere in the ocean. Fake crowds in NYC and DC are gathering in jubilation at the news of the lost body. Utterly ridiculous.

CNN says that CIA operative Tim Osman (“Osama Bin Laden”) is dead, and the body was dumped within 24 hours of death and 3,000km from Waziristan to the Arabian Sea, which the article claims is Waziri tradition. As your typical Waziri does not have a personal helicopter to leap over mountains and vast terrain, this is an odd claim. But since none of us speaks Pashto nor are in cahoots with any of the hundreds of tribes there, we’ll never be sure if they aren’t hiding helicopters and satellite laptops which can organize poor sand Negroes walking backwards and armed with sharp sticks to penetrate the Pentagon’s gargantuan air defense system.

Could this be an excuse to pull out of Afghanistan, and a ceding of Jewish drug ops to those of the Chinese?

binLaden-Brzezinski

binLaden and Obama cabinet member, Brzezinski

The Ahlefeldt-Holst Cult of Shanghai maintains that Bin Laden died in October of 2001 of kidney failure in Dubai. We now also maintain that this recent piece of news proves that they have destroyed the body long ago, and that this death was inconvenient to the political establishment who was still privy on drug smuggling. Soon after the initial attacks on Afghanistan, it was noted that Afghanistan was suddenly the producer of 95% of the world’s heroin. Pretty neat, huh? So there were two opium wars in China, fought between David Sassoon and the Chinese, then the third opium war in Vietnam, and now the fourth Opium War in Afghanistan. Announcing his death meant the opium selling party was over. A stable country cannot host a black-market economy of that size.

Kola Boof, the man-devil that slept with Bin Laden for four monthsWell anyway. Osman died when he was 44 of kidney disease. In the Dubai hospital where he died, his condition was severe and his life could have only been prolonged for three months maximum under dilation. Typically this is related to drinking and MIPS addiction. In TCM the “kidney” is the body’s urinary detox system, which isn’t necessarily precisely that organ. Perverts and masterbators get weak kidneys. By 1992 he had 17 children and five wives [1]. Though assumed to be Muslim, it is understood that he was born in Yemen of a Jewish mother and an Arab father. He worked for the CIA in smuggling arms and funding the Mujadeen rebels in Afghanistan, though he is not Afghani. Kola Boof claims she was his sex slave in 1996 for four months, and that he was obsessed with bagging Whitney Houston. [1]

The proof of the hoax is in this ridiculous death story. If Binladen was such an important person, then they should do an autopsy, take clear photographs, and make them public. They initially claimed to have the body [1], but then suddenly said they dumped it at sea [2] and would not specify where, supposedly according to “Waziri tradition.”

When I stop laughin’, maybe I can finally make it to sleep.

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One Response to Osama the Sinner Died an Early Death

  1. janoklark says:

    Osama-Been Dead Ten Years

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