Massive Vegetarians

Glorious Elephants

Glorious Elephants

A typical confusion going around city slickers is that vegetarians are wimps. Au contraire, mon frère.

The largest and most powerful land animals in the world are vegetarian.

Elephants are the largest land animals in the world. Even Siberian tigers cannot take down elephants. Elephants are used in Thailand for chasing away tigers from fields. And elephants do not go to Angus Beef Grill for dinner.

Hippo yawning

Hippos weigh six times that of tigers

Hippopotami are right massive fellers. Hippos mock crocodiles by licking their tails and chewing on their spines. They can only be taken down by groups of lions or tigers (which typically don’t work in groups). On the question of hippo vs. tiger:

A hippo is six times the weight of a tiger and that much more powerful. It can open its mouth four feet wide and bite down with a bite force of 1800 pounds, bringin down its big sharp tusks. It could easily bite the tiger’s head off. Though they may seem slow and clumsy, they are anything but that. Some individuals have been clocked to run at a speed of 30 mph. It also has tough hides that would protect it from the tiger’s claws and teeth. Tigers normally kill their prey by a throat bite but the hippo’s neck is far too wide and thick for the tiger to accomplish that. The hippo would simply overwhelm the tiger.

Hippopatomi do not order buckets of KFC or otherwise shovel pieces of carcass in their face.

Back in the Garden of Eden there were plenty of dragons (“dinosaurs”) around, and a new study reveals that they were mostly vegetarian – especially the big ones like turiasaurus who weighed forty tons each (as opposed to the six ton carcass cleaners, T. Rex). Dragons revealed by cryptozoology like the Ninki Nanka are also commonly vegetarian (though will kill to protect their territory). Many people have spotted Nessie, but have never seen her gnawing on BBQ pork chops.

White Nationalism would do well to adopt vegetarianism and sexual purity, as well as supplanting their usual predator mascots with more massive and fearless vegetarian animals. The symbol of purity and power in India is Ganesha, the white elephant. He is the first spirit that is worshiped in Karunamayi’s meditation program, and Karunamayi’s temple in Andhra Pradesh is built around this root concept of spiritual practice. All of her temples are white, all the followers must wear white clothes, and there are statues and murals with Ganesha everywhere. Ganesha is also featured above the goddess of wealth in Hindu iconography, because chastity and power are necessary preconditions of sustainable wealth and fame.

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5 Responses to Massive Vegetarians

  1. There is a song in one of the Rocky movies called “Eye Of The Tiger”. The person making that song should have had slightly different lyrics, the song should have been called “Eye Of The Hippo”.

  2. Says Thoreau: “One farmer says to me, You cannot live on vegetable food solely, for it furnishes nothing to make bones with; and so he religiously devotes a part of his day to supplying his system with the raw material of bones; walking all the while he talks behind his oxen, which, with vegetable-made bones, jerk him and his lumbering plow along in spite of every obstacle.”

    • janoklark says:

      When Chinese say I’m thin because I’m veg, br. Vilĉjo (who is not thin but is also veg) replies: “You’re right! Cows and elephants are vegetarian, and they’re skinny as all get-out!” Then he laughs heartily.

      Also there’s Grits, one of whose legs is the size of two of my legs and is almost two meters tall. He could take down five or six Chinese men on his own. He’s more strict a vegetarian than myself.

  3. Pingback: Carnivorism, Pharasites and Immigration (pt. 2) | KBH Blog

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